Emotions Are For The Weak
by Janelle Rose
Summary: ONE SHOT EijixOriginalCharacter


Ever since I was a kid a lot of pressure has been put on me to be the best. Being in the Hikari family meant you had to be perfect. I hated it, no, I HATE it. I will never forgive my parents.

_Never... _

They treat me not as their child, but as a life size computer. My older brother Kuroki escaped when he turned 18. But he had to leave me behind all alone. He promised to come get me. But he died, he lied to me! I loved him so much. He was the only one I could ever trust and he just died on me.

_Why? _

My name is Hikari Sakura I go to Seishun Gakuen High School and am in my third year. I trust nobody.

_Do I even trust myself?_

Tennis and music is my life. If I where to lose either one I would probably die. I would kill myself if I didn't have tennis or music. They are the only things that can ease my pain.

_Nothing else. _

So here I go living life, trying to be a normal 17 year old. But when you're surrounded by idiots it doesn't help. Some people seriously need to just stop acting like life is so great. It isn't. It is only here to make us suffer until we die. It gives us impossibly high expectations to reach.

I don't have ANY friends. I don't mind, and it seems most people rather stay away from me anyways so why bother right? They do what they want, I do what I want. Fair is fair. It isn't worth it to mope around and complain.

Let me tell you a little more about myself, I like things quiet. I like to read books because the lives people have in books are far more interesting then my own. I don't like these human attachments called 'emotions', they are for the weak.

_I am not weak. _

There is this one _thing_, that is right _thing_, for it can't possibly be human, called _Kikumaru Eiji_ that just gets under my skin. He is always so happy I wish I could shoot him. Oh and while I am at it, shoot his damn fan girls as well. Yes that would be nice, I want him-- I mean _it_ gone! That or he needs a good bitch slap to the face to bring him back to reality.

Anyways… time for the more important things. I am currently eating my bento alone, thank goodness, at my favorite place in Seigaku High, under that largest sakura tree. It is peaceful here, away from everything and _everyone_. Every time I make human contact things end up horribly wrong, so I avoid it. To be honest the only time I really spend not alone are during classes and tennis club practices. Oh and when Eiji-baka isn't around to nag and annoy me.

"SAKU-CHAN!!! Hey hey!" screamed a very obnoxious voice.

Speaking of the damn devil! Here he is, I think he takes pleasure in torturing me. His seemingly care-free smiles hid the demon within.

"Get lost Eiji-baka, why don't you just disappear." I retorted.

Eiji just continued to smile his retarded smile at me, oh how I wanted to rip it off his damn cute face. HOLD UP. Ew!? Did I just call Kikumaru Eiji cute!? I think I am getting a fever.

"Ne ne, Saku-chan, why are your cheeks red!?" he asked.

"I don't know what you are talking about…go away, please?!"

I lied. I could feel it, my cheeks burning. I know I am blushing. I want to kill myself right now. I DO NOT BLUSH. I would do anything to be free of the presence of the one causing these…feelings to rush through me.

_I'm not weak._

"Why would I leave a sad and lonely _friend_ all by herself? Nya!!?" was all I got.

_Shit_. I am dead. I could feel it, my eyes where watering…nobody has ever called me that before. Friend, all I ever get is freak, loner, loser, and "just die already!". I do not ask for your pity though. I think you should pity the people who use me as an outlet for their disappointment in themselves. They need it more. Besides I don't really like attention.

"Saku-chan, daijoubu?"

Next thing I knew a tear slid down my face and I was running away. I couldn't take it. I am such a liar. When I said Kikumaru Eiji can get under my skin and isn't human I meant that I loved him. He can see right through me and I can't call somebody as amazing as him a pitiful human. Humans are low life scum who are nothing but selfish hounds. Kikumaru Eiji isn't any of that. I was fine until he came along making me feel again. I was fine, I was strong. But when he comes along I become weak, why? It is because emotions are for the weak, and I feel for him. I ran and ran until I swore my legs fell off. It took a few hours of crying but I composed myself once more. Next time I see him I will tell him I hate him, it is the only way to stay strong again. I do not need some guy breaking down my walls. I hate not having my walls, I feel naked without them.

_So utterly naked._

I skipped the last two days of school. Not that anybody would care anyways. I mean I do live alone and I at least spent those days working overtime so I can earn some extra money. It is now Monday and time for me to go back to school. I will act like nothing happened three days ago. That's because nothing did happen. Something just got into my eye and it really hurt so I ran to find water. That is the story. Got it?!

I walked into my first period class which seemed to be buzzing more then usual. But instead of being greeted by rude stares I saw all the male tennis regulars looking at me with worried expressions. Did Eiji tell them I ran away crying?! The captain who I know as Kunimitsu Tezuka walked up to me with the rest of the regulars behind. Wait Eiji is missing, he wasn't in the class.

"Hikari-san, please tell me you know where Eiji is. He disappeared the same day you happened to not show up to school. He hasn't contacted anybody not even his parents."

I was shocked. And I knew that it was my entire fault. I always told him to go away…and now he finally did. God, please grant me ONE wish.

_Let me die. _

I ran out of the room with tears falling out of my eyes like a waterfall. My heart felt as if somebody grabbed it and was slowly putting more and more weights on it.

_It hurts. _

It hurt more then it usually does when I get lonely.

Yeah I lied again. I actually secretly like noise and company. It makes everything feel worth while when you have somebody to share it with.

"BAKA BAKA BAKA!" I screamed at myself.

I stood under my favorite spot in deep thought for a few seconds. I knew where Eiji was. So I ran and ran as fast as I could, hoping that I was right. I took a bus ride that took about an hour to the beach. Once the bus stopped I practically flew off. I ran off to _that_ place. The place Eiji and I first met. Each step I took the more pain my heart felt.

"Eiji!?" I asked.

No reply. I sat there on the very first spot we met and cried.

"Eiji-baka, please come out. I need you. I am so weak. And it is all because I…"

"You what Saku-chan?" I heard.

Just then I felt two strong arms wrapped around my waist and I can feel my back falling into a strong well built chest. I just let the embrace happen and I continued to cry. After I cried all I could, Eiji never loosening his grip, I began to talk again.

"Eiji-baka! Why did you run away?!" I half screamed.

"Ne ne, I wanted to see if you would remember this place. And so I waited for you." He replied.

"Why the hell would you do something like that?!" I asked taken back.

"Don't you know? You are more of a baka then me if you didn't notice it by now. I love you Saku-chan."

"W-what? How could you love somebody like me?"

"Well because you are so strong, even though you are always in pain you never let your emotions get to you. You are also smart, and pretty, and talented in many things!"

I felt me cheeks get hotter as each compliment was made. I knew I needed to tell him how I felt too. I wanted him to know that I want to finally open up.

"Ne ne, Eij-" I was cut off.

"Call me Kikumaru, or give me a really cute nickname! Nya!"

"Ano, Kikumaru, thank you for everything you have done for me, I think I want to open up a little now and let my emotions out. Will you help me?" I asked a little unsure of myself.

"Nya, on one condition! I get a kiss, on the lips too!" he said.

I could feel him smirking behind me. I felt the weight on my heart leave as I slowly pulled myself away from him and faced him.

"Deal, but the first emotion I want to release is my love for you. I love you Kikumaru Eiji." I said.

From there Eiji didn't hesitate another second to place his lips on mine. And I cried, cried feeling happy for the first time in my entire life. Even though I never felt happiness before, I knew that this was it.

_My heart told me…and so I kissed back._

"Nya, Saku-chan because you taste so good you reminded me! I'm hungry!"

I smiled and pulled Kikumaru and myself up; we locked hands and began to walk.

"Next time you pay though, okay?" was all I said.

Back then I couldn't take that plastered smile of my face, but then again it wasn't like I wanted to.


End file.
